Bits n Pieces

Losing all your friends
Man comes home and finds his wife with his friend in bed. He shoots his friend and kills him.
Wife says: 'If you behave like this, you will lose ALL your friends.'

Brother wanted
A small boy wrote to Santa Claus, 'send me a brother...'
Santa wrote back, 'SEND ME YOUR MOTHER...'

Meaning of WIFE
Husband asks: 'Do you know the meaning of WIFE? It means 'Without Information Fighting Everytime'!'
Wife replies: 'No, it means 'With Idiot For Ever'!!!'

Importance of a period
Teacher: 'Do you know the importance of a period?'
Kid: 'Yeah, once my sister said she has missed one, my mom fainted, dad got a heart attack & our driver ran away.'

Confident vs Confidential
A young boy asks his Dad: 'What is the difference between confident and confidential?'
Dad says: 'You are my son, I'm confident about that. Your friend over there, is also my son, that's confidential!'

Anger management?
Husband: 'When I get mad at you, you never fight back. How do you control your anger?'
Wife: 'I clean the toilet.'
Husband: 'How does that help?'
Wife: 'I use your toothbrush.'